5 Steps to Fix Hurt Feelings

hurt feelingsNegativity is all around us. It used to be that if you had hurt feelings, someone you knew said or did something to you. Now, courtesy of the internet, we can get our feelings hurt by complete strangers.

The other day, I got a comment to my YouTube video of me explaining the yoga pose Savasana. I was so excited to get my first YouTube comment and wondered what inspiring message I would receive. The individual remarked how lovely I looked in HD, and I remarked that the video he chose to watch was of Corpse Pose, where I lay on the floor and breathe for 5 minutes without moving. I did not reply.

The next video I posted, the individual tried to say something sexual. (I phrase it this way because it was in some very broken English.) I reported him and so the comment was removed. I’m not sure of YouTube’s policies, but I asked for this individual to be denied access to my videos. The next day, I had thumbs down ratings on several of my videos.

I was so disheartened, but then I thought, You know what? I worked hard on those videos. I’m proud of the content within them. And I’m not sorry if it’s not what that person is looking for.

It would have been so helpful to me to have the thumbs down and a comment to go with it that could help me improve. Those negative-but-true comments are what we need to grow. So often, those close to us are hesitant to offer that feedback because they don’t want to hurt our feelings.

Here are 5 things you can do when you have hurt feelings:

  1. Realize that you are an acquired taste. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you. Always. It’s not your job to make them like you, just like it’s not their job to make you like them. Your job is to be your kindest, most sincere self. There are so many people in the world, and we are all different. If you are nice and stay true to yourself, you will not have as much guilt or regret about things you’ve done or said.
  2. Say something nice back to them. What if you made the conscious choice to respond to their negativity with something positive? It can really sting when someone hurts your feelings, but do try to be sincere in your response.
  3. Do something nice for someone else. Doing something nice for someone else will always make you feel better. By lifting up others, you will be lifted as well.
  4. Go do some constructive exercise. Sometimes, we may not have it in us to smile and be kind. During these times, I think it’s best to hit the gym. Run, lift, box, take a class, whatever you need to do to let off some steam, do it! Then, once you’ve let go of everything you can, leave it at the gym. You don’t need to carry that negativity home with you.
  5. Shake it off. Love her or not, Taylor Swift is right. Shake it off.

Sure, now seems like a great opportunity to have a link to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off,” but I really think you should watch “I’ve Got Hurt Feelings” by Flight of the Conchords first. Then, you can “Shake It Off” if you want.

What do you do to fix your hurt feelings?

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Sarah Stockett is STOTT certified in Matwork, Reformer, Cadillac, Chair, & Barrels, Injuries & Special Populations, and CORE; a Yoga Alliance RYT-200; and has studied Active Isolated Stretching. When she is not trying to discover the best exercises to get rid of pain, she likes watching movies and travelling with her family.

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